We missed out on Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) and her penis removing shenanigans last week in Vikings. But we make up for it this week when Kalf (Ben Robson) decides it is better to drop the L word with Lagertha rather than risk becoming a eunuch. However, he then goes overboard by following up with the desire to have children with her (SPOILER ALERT Kalf: Lagertha is barren and pretty pissy at her last husband for taking up another wife who could have kids).But that might be the least of his worries once Lagertha finds out he is double crossing her with Erlendur (Edvin Endre) and may or may not be plotting to kill every Lothbrok they can get their hands on–starting with Bjorn after Kalf enlists a beserker to take Ragnar’s son out.
Poor Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) spends a great deal of episode 3 of Vikings going completely mad thanks to Ragnar’s creative torture inflicted in episode 2. Floki has been tied up and left in a damp cave. Constant water dripping down is what is leading to his insanity. (There is a great Tumblr article on Floki’s torture in relation to the similar tale from the viking sagas surrounding the god, Loki, that can be read here.) Thanks to his dutiful wife, Helga (Maude Hirst), he does manage to get some relief–until Ragnar turns up and insists Helga tells Floki what happened to their daughter, Angrboda (Rosalie Connerty).
Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) gets to talk smack about his wife, Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) in episode 3 of Vikings. While regaling his sons with stories of the god, Thor, he then moves onto a story about a wanderer called Harbard (played by Kevin Durand in season 3 of Vikings). Ragnar’s kids love the story and ask their dad if he has ever met Harbard. Ragnar replies that he hasn’t… but they might want to ask their mother about meeting him.Besides pissing off his wife, Ragnar plays eyes at Yidu (Dianne Doan) and then gets a vision of his other great love, Athelstan (George Blagden). Poor Athelstan is looking a touch more French king since his demise at the hands of Floki in season 3 of Vikings, but he has a message to impart: Mercy. Ragnar takes heed and finally releases Floki from his confinement. Here’s hoping Floki shows his old friend Ragnar the same sort of mercy and there isn’t revenge on the cards further on in season 4 of Vikings.
SOMEWHERE IN THE WILDERNESS
Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) is still being the least capable viking ever whilst trying to find himself in the wilderness. However Bjorn eventually comes face to face with the bear stealing his food. Unfortunately, he has left his axe behind and it is a very good thing the bear turns out to be a pacifist and leaves Bjorn alone.
Bjorn, however, is not a pacifist. After getting blind drunk, he goes on a bear hunt and that poor bear only gets one decent swipe in before he is made into a bear suit. Bjorn celebrates the way any decent viking would; by searing his bear wound shut with a red hot poker and then jumping into an ice hole.
Meanwhile, in England, Athelstan is also visiting King Ecbert (Linus Roache). Funny he should visit the good king, when his lady love, Judith (Jennie Jacques) is so close by. Although, perhaps it was the sight of King Ecbert’s lily-white arse poised over the naked form of Judith that turned Athelstan away? Anyway, so Athelstan makes the sign of the cross over Ecbert, therefore convincing the king Athelstan is really dead and he is gone already.
Judith is dutifully upset when Ecbert informs her of Athelstan’s death. But that’s a good thing, because her husband, Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford), chooses that exact moment to return with the rescued Queen Kwenthrith (Amy Bailey). Judith is no fool and lets him know it is tears of joy at the return of her husband.
Aethelwulf is finally not an idiot and takes to the bed of Queen Kwenthrith–but, then again, who in the whole universe can resist her charms?
So it turns out Rollo (Clive Standen) is still not getting lucky with his new bride, Princess Gisla (Morgan Polanski). She is so pissy with Rollo in episode 3 of Vikings that she asks for a divorce on account of Rollo not bedding her yet.
Poor Rollo (yes, I still don’t like him as a viking, but I can sympathise with him as a hapless fool in a foreign country) can’t even defend himself on account of not having a handle on the local lingo. He cracks the shits and storms from the room. This throws Gisla’s father, Charles (Lothaire Bluteau), into a tizz because the emperor is spineless and completely terrified of anything to do with vikings.
Luckily for Charles, Count Odo (Owen Roe) convinces Rollo to stick around. Which is totally a no-brainer if Charles had sat and thought about it for a moment. Rollo has absolutely nowhere to go. Paris is his new family–regardless of what Gisla, Charles or Rollo himself thinks of the matter.
New Season 4 Characters
We have still not met the two new promised Season 4 characters, King Harald Finehair (Peter Franzén) and his brother, Halfdan the Black ( Jasper Pääkkönen), but I can promise you we will meet at least one of them in Episode 4 of Vikings 😉
This episode played two festivals against each other rather than using Athelstan to show the difference between the two religions. Yule is approaching for the vikings, which is the precursor to the Christian Christmas celebrations. But, considering it is too early to the Christians to steal Yule yet, they are celebrating the martyrdom of St. Eulalia.
What did you think of episode 3 of Vikings? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
Vikings returns to History Channel with episode 4, entitled “Yol” on Thursday, February 25, at 10 p.m. ET.
You can read my recap of Episode 4 here.
[Image via A&E Network]
- Vikings, Season 4, Episode 2 Recap, “Kill The Queen” (thesnarkingdeadrecaps.wordpress.com)